Earlier this year a new dad's post went viral, received millions of views online and was picked up by news outlets from all over the world. The post, entitled 'Lessons of a brand new dad, to soon to be dads', offered 10 blunt insights into a new dad's world and opened up multiple awkward and hilarious conversations.
At babocush, we don't shy away from the awkward topics regarding parenting and we never claim it's easy or straightforward. We welcome all, and often humorous, discussions and have opted to cover some of the unspoken topics for new dads.
"You're not ready"
On the viral post, the above words occupied the number 2 slot and they really struck a chord with a lot of soon to be dads. Why? Probably because 1) it's true and 2) because dads are afraid to admit it. As well as joy, pride and love a lot of fathers look at their newborn and feel fear. It may be buried under all the positives but it it's there and should not be repressed.
Not every dad needs to create a viral post to admit they're not ready but at the same time, admit it. Admit that your dad book didn't prepare you for the poo or that there was no chapter on 'understanding the causes of engorged breasts'. Saying ‘I'm not ready’ is a big step into the deep realisation that it's okay to fake it.
Lastly, be prepared to make mistakes, both visible and invisible. Your inbuilt belief and manliness will not prevent mistakes. You will get nappies wrong, you will buy the wrong organic-honey bee nappy rash cream and you will feel the wrong emotion at the wrong time. Some mistakes are easier to recover from than others, thankfully there's not a lot of time to sweat the small stuff.
The 'new-dad' notion, hands-on fathering did not begin at the dawn of Starbucks, and neurologically your brain makes adjustments to help handle your new role. Comfort yourself knowing the entire species has evolved to make you a better father. Be pragmatic, throw yourself in, embrace the mistakes and accept that you will gradually grow into your role.
Despite pop-culture stories of newborns delivering the end of your sex-life, this is greatly exaggerated. From a solely medical point of view, new mothers can have sex 6-weeks after giving birth. Obviously, there a million other factors to consider, mostly finding the time. But, do not neglect your partner, it's vital to maintain the closeness of your relationship and it’s good for your newborn.
Stay close to your partner when you can; share a meal, share a break, share the sofa. The babocush is designed to offer contentment to your baby, but that contentment can reverberate around your home. While your baby relaxes securely on the soothing cushion, you and your partner can enjoy a TV show, a coffee and each other's adult company.
As mentioned, at babocush we try to offer straightforward advice to parents on a range of topics. Find more blogs that might help, inform or shock you here.